Woke up by Josiah crying. I cannot even sleep properly last night cause he keep crying and crying and crying. How irritating can he be. Met up with Hongwei & Jiening and went to hub together. JinFeng came too. He's such a gentleman. Got Gongcha~ Than we happen to walk past the place where i fell down that time & Hongwei & Jiening kept disturbing non-stop.Than in the end i bused to Bishan to meet up with twinneh. We went to get KOI. HAHA. Than we waited for the church bus to come. Had a h2h talk on the bus AS USUAL. :> Worship today was fun~ Sermon okok la. Almost fell asleep. But the alter call is the highlight of everything. I broke down into tears. After Lauren prayed for me. I had been keeping everything to myself that i finally let it go. I feel so comfortable. In a sense~ Twinneh, Regina & Jingyi was sweet enough to gave me a hug. Love them so much. Than bused home as mummy want to bring me out to get some new year stuffs. LOL. Basically, that's what i did for today. Jingyi & Poyin are currently at my place now. They are so retarded. Pulling each other legs and bra.
Ohfuck, I'm really sorry babe. I just went to see your blog, and i just found out what you blogged on your blog. Yeah, you're right. That guy is a replacement of Teresa. But do you know what? Do you think i really want to treat him as a freaking replacement? No, I don't want him to be a replacement of Teresa. I tried falling for him but i couldn't. You should know i never put so much in a relationship before. She's the first and i got this kind of answer. I know she's together with Pauline and i'm trying to accept the fact and slowly let go. Is not i didn't want to let go. I really want to let go. I.. won't contact her anymore. I really won't. & i didn't say we wouldn't go out and have a meal together what. I know you want to bond the friendship we three have and i really appreciate that. But you yourself should know how bitchy my mum is. & That morning i gave you attitude is just because i'm having a very very bad headache in the morning. I want to talk to you after history but you freaking ignored and give me that face, how do you expect me to talk to you? I know everytime i call you out you will agree and accompany me. I know you're really a great friend. I know i didn't appreciate what you do for me everytime. I don't understand why just because i didn't help you take the water bottle you will so angry till now. Is not i don't want take for you leh. It's just... i'm just playing with you and you got so angry that you stormed up the stairs. Okaylah. I'm really sorry okay? :'(
Reason why i cried during the Alter call.
1. I'm feeling very guilty for loving a girl when i'm a freaking Christian.
2. I really want to turn back straight but i can't.
3. I got touched by what Lauren said.
4. I want to be back to how i was last time.
The bus ride, i cried while texting Twinneh. :'( I thought a lot about everything. I literally told myself not to text her already, i'm like really... leaving her like don't love her at all and turn back straight. I really wanted to do that. No joke. Because i don't want to hide from my mother anymore. I don't want to continue committing this sin. I'm very guilty.. But always, you flow into my mind, how the fuck am i going to turn straight. Sigh. Suan lerh. Last long bitch, :) Don't whatsapp me anymore. And most importantly, you need not come to my place anymore, you need not give back what you owe me. It's alright. :)
I really hope i won't regret after saying this. I'm praying hard that i wont get emotional everyday after making this decision. But i'm tired too so maybe this is the right choice. So i guess on the Valentine Day's Eve that surprise isn't needed anymore. I think Ahchew would be like thinking all so much that we planned gone to wasted. Ohwell, Josiah keep crying. I have to stop blogging. Goodbye.
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