Now, you're gone & no longer back.

So yep, How's Christmas Eve for you guys? Me.... Okok lorh. I feel so weird, you asked me before you asked her for stead. You waited for my reply, I didn't reply. But still in the end you asked. I know you planned to ask already but fuck, i don't know. It just seems so fake. You forget what you told me that night? You said... oh nevermind.. I think i gave up on crying already instead... laughing. Yes. I was laughing while i was talking to B yesterday. Seems so fake, but ya, i rather laugh instead of cry. So B imagine if those laughter i was crying. I bet you will be damn guilty for what you have done. But ohwell, i'm not going to make you feel guilty so i laughed. Like a mad woman. Calling you a Christmas Tree, Copying you what you said? Fuck. All so fake. I swear. Nevermind. :) Still... i told you what i want to say on whatsapp already & all i want now. Is be a very good friend of hers. That's all. So my christmas wish was a hug from you. You said okay. I...m happy. I dont know why. But actions meants more. :) So that's what i dress for Christmas eve. Black... Okay. I'm weird but somehow feel like wearing black yesterday. Today... wearing Brown. Weird colour i know. But nevermind. :') Going for a christmas party. Super excited? Uhmmm. Not really. My heart isn't there. isn't on christmas. My heart is thinking, what you're doing. Okay fuck all this shit. I have to stop i really have to stop. I swear i would be damn bitchy next year. AGAIN. I dont know it's just.. i feel like being bitchy next year. It's like.. no point being nice already. I got a very fucked up plan in my head. I want to do it. But i'm still considering. Sigh. My favorite song now isn't One Thousand Years anymore. It's Timothy Bloom- Possibilities. Why? The lyrics really........ touched me alot... & It sounds so... sad and nice. Lyrics bellow!


I had a conversation with myself
Going back and forth, picking the pieces apart
Lining them one by one
Has made me realize that what's inside me is breaking me down

I'm not the man that I used to know
I've got so much to give and little to show
And if loving you now is my mistake
Then I'll give it all up before your heart starts to break
It's not you, it's me getting in the way of possibilities

What is it about your love
That makes me wanna go for changes
Only you could make it better
You need to light the sky to ease the moon
Give the light to the pain in my darkness
Only you could shine through

‘Cause I believe that I'm not the man that I used to know
I've got so much to give and little to show
And if loving you now is my mistake
Then I'll give it all up before your heart starts to break
It's not you, it's me getting in the way of possibilities

Day comes the window to all
Reflecting from this lonely heart of mine
I regret the day if I was ever did cause of losing you
Losing you

I'm not the man that I used to know
I've got so much to give and little to show
And if loving you now is my mistake
Then I'll give it all up before your heart starts to break
It's not you, it's me getting in the way

And if loving you now is my mistake
Then I'll give it all up before your heart starts to break
It's not you 


Isn't it nice? Lol. Go and listen okay. You won't regret. Although he sing until very very weird. But still the lyrics is the best. I'm like putting it on a replay lorh. :') Okay lah. Have to stop blogging and get prepared already. I'll come back with pictures of today. & Sorry, didn't take photos last night. :x Hehe. 


/edit/
Yep. I'm back from the tram party. Pictures.. Wait a moment....

I had alot of fun on the tram. Not really alot lah. But i'm enjoying talking to Poyin on the tram. HAHA. And mostly, eating on the tram makes me more happy. No idea why. & present part i really feel like killing myself. I was like taking two presents in my hand. Than i was kind enough to give poyin to big want cause i'm such a sweet girl and i took a small want. So in the end. Her's was CK perfume while mine was...... Thumbdrive. Okay lah. Quite cute so it's okay. BUT FUCK HER SERIOUSLY. :( I want that. Cause i feel like giving to Tangy cause he's perfume always not nice smell. HAHAHA. Joking~ Anyway.... I don't know if i truly loved you. Its like, sometimes i really really really hate you to the core. Sometimes i don't. I miss you so much everyday. Yesterday dream was...... Awesome.. I want that to happen though. I don't know. I know i'm your friend now. And only friend. Nothing else. I'm trying my very best to treat you as a friend too, forget that you was once my ex, my crush. Just... my friend. I'm really trying very hard ok... :( You think so easy meh? LOL. Going back Singapore next Sunday! :))))) Ohya. That song is on replay man. I think Poyin hear until sian. But i love the song alot. LOL! Aiyaaaaa, Very lazy continue blogging already... BYE. Anyway. MERRY CHRISTMAS! <3