Never regret something that once made you smile.

It's Christmas Eve today! YEAH! (Y) Hah. Joke. I'm not happy at all, Not wanting Christmas to come. B should know why. So what did you guys plan to do today? I'm blogging very early today because i'm heading out later to a christmas countdown party at church. And there will be candlelight. Fucking chio. Will take pictures. I promise. :) Maybe i will edit this blogpost later once i'm back. If i'm not lazy. But no promises. I have been thinking... alot since this morning. I don't know why recently, i got so emo so easily. I have been thinking is there anything that could safe our relationship up. Is there anything i could do to make her be with me again? Or isit.. There really isn't any hope for our relationship already. All this were in my head. I don't know why isit so difficult for me like seriously. You told me not to rely on you. But the fact is... i already relied on you. Because i thought our relationship would last and you would be always there for me if i needed you. That's what i thought.. but i guess.. I'm just.. hoping all this while... Have you forget what you promise me? Let me tell you... I remember every single thing you told me.. Maybe you didn't. But i do.. You said, You would accompany me to go to the doctor once i'm back. You told me we would go down bugis together. You told me you would get me a ring. You told me you would give me what you owe me.. that freaking 496 kisses left. You told me you would be there to catch me fall, You told me you would never make me sad. You told me you would always be there for me. You told me you would earn alot of money for me to spend. You told me manymanymany other stuffs. I don't know why i could still remember so much. Today is the eight day you had left me. I'm still hoping for a miracle to happen. That you would come back to me and tell me, I'm sorry dear, i would never leave you again. That... image really happen in my dream. I'm serious. No joke. But... i know it wont happen.. My dream is simply a dream. I have to treat it as a dream too, shouldn't i? I really have to stop hoping, stop dreaming. I have to start studying as Jonas says. I have to get back on track as CYS say. I have to move on like GAB say. I have to follow my heart as Wellington say. Many friends.... told me many solution.. I ignored. I ignored every single one of them. Because of you.. i would sacrifice many things. I even wanted to tell my brother about our relationship. But sadly, our relationship ended. So soon... If he knows.... he would be kill me. I can't simply treat relationship as a game.. Wait, i never treated this relationship as a game. I really put in everything in this relationship. But... everything gone so wasted. Sigh... I think... i stop blogging now. I'll be back later. If i'm not tired. So... Goodbye!~