First lesson of the day was Physics. I was freaking sleeping through out till MARHUIMIN woke me up. Wah fuck. Damn pekchek. I was sleeping until so comfortable than wake me up sia :( But nevermind, woke up check my phone. Blood boil. I've no idea why. It's like don't read my blog if you don't want to know how i feel. Read my blog than deal with it. Because it's simply.. how i'm feeling.. So next time you want to read my blog, than just be prepared that it's sure going to be emotional. Because yes. I'm so emotional after you're gone. Details of the whatsapp not going to say. Shall just keep it a secret. I think only marhuimin & celeste know because i was simply... pissed off and i just.. said everything out in class. During Mr Ng lesson, and i think i talked a little too loud and Celeste heard it too. But since things are okay now, so just ya. Leave it as it seems.
Next period was Social Studies, It's really boring. I want to sleep too. But i can't. No mood to sleep already. So just listen to what the teacher teaching but nothing goes into my head because i'm freaking thinking so much. Next period was english, today english not bad la. Just simply writing what Miss Yong said. That's all. End of lesson all of us sang Birthday song to Joel Zhang. HAHA. Recess was alright and a little boring but nevermind. HAHAHA. Chinese period was okay la. Plain talking with Celeste lorh. GOSSIP as usual. :) After chinese class asked LiMingZhu about the chinese thingy. Wlao. :( He's so asshole but he's the best teacher. HAHAHA.
After chinese was maths. THIS IS THE FREAKING FUNNY PART. I'VE NO IDEA WHY THE FUNNY STUFFS ALWAYS HAPPEN DURING MATHS. Since today is Joel Zhang birthday.. Something really funny happen to him. So let me start telling you guys about it. HAHA. There's a cockroach in our class. No idea where that freaking cockroach come from. It crawled into Joel Zhang pants! And he literally freaked out and jumped out of his seat and start shaking his pants ensuring the cockroach come out. So it came out and Celine just nice step on it. Wah. Mrs Yeo & Chan Yong Sheng reaction is the best, Should have recorded it down. Everybody goes so high. HAHAHA.
And for my class. They are really very disturbing. So as to disturb one guy in our class. They like to use the word " 5 " & " Storeroom " HAHA. Because that guy that time say. He has 5 computer but it's at the storeroom! LOL! So from that day on. My class keep say stuffs like " I have 5 notebook, but i left it at the storeroom! " & " I have 5 pens, but i left it at the storeroom. " HAHA. My class super lame but still it's fun to be in this kind of crazy and lame class, Don't you think so?
After school, bused home with Marhuimin and went CB mac to have lunch. Fucking full. Hongwei joined us too. After that went to the nearest block and slack slack slack and me and Hongwei sent Marhuimin to the bus stop. Aren't we sweet? JOKING. But when we're at mac. Hongwei keep digging my wallet. & he laughed when he see my mother photo inside. Hello, my mum so cute lorh please. HAHAHAHAHA. Ohgosh, today blog post again very lengthy sia. But.. hehe. That's what i basically did today. Now i'm going to be at home and start doing on my SS and revise CHEM. :) I'm aiming A's for my N's. HAHAHAHA.
You said no point explaining when i don't even remember, You said i don't understand any single shits. You aren't me. You doesn't know how i feel my dear. It might seems that i understand every single thing. Oh wrong, not understand. In fact, or maybe, i don't understand what you really wants. I treat today as a normal day. A day that isn't supposingly to be our 2nd monthsary. I just treat it like a freaking normal day. But... in my heart, it's still a day that worth thinking back what happen 2 months ago on this date. :') Maybe now you're having fun with your girlfriend right now. & me.. down here blogging how i feel. How sad. But still, as people say life goes on. Right? I told you i'm moving on. Yea... Maybe.. I don't know if i could.. But i'll really try. Oh wrong, We aren't friends already, remember? :) Sigh.. Just... freaking stay happy and do what you think it's right. I think this would be the last time i'll get so emotional. As in on the 10th la. But.. for tomorrow, or the next day? I'm not sure... I don't even know how long more could i be like this. Like acting strong when i'm so hurt inside. Laugh when i'm so sad. Act like nothing has happen. Try to smile when i see you. But don't you notice everything is so fake? You're seeing an image that it isn't real.
Day 8 Short term goals for this month and why?
1. Score really well for class test. ( I want to get like a's for my N level eh)
2. Get over her ASAP. ( It's a must to get over her. )
3. Have to really start studying ( I'm distracted by my laptop and phone)
4. No skipping of tuitions. ( I keep pon tuition last year but i'm not doing it again this year)
5. Be happy. ( I don't want to be the fake Rachel anymore. )
6. Treat everything that didn't happen ( No point clinging on to those memories when she forget every single one of them. _
Basically. This is it. So yep. Goodbye. I blog very early today because i want to study and i don't think i'm using my laptop. I've no idea. See how it goes later. 再见！
/edit/
I'm not even halfway down with my Social Studies, but why am i here blogging again? Sigh. It's going to hurt if you're going to read, So don't read it. It's just my heart really hurts now & i really need to vend it on my blog. Because basically, i have nobody to rant my feelings too.
1. The hurting stuffs came back again. Reason? I'm not sure.
2. Am i tired of all this crap? Yes. Super in fact.
3. Why the fuck do you love that girl so much? Honestly, No idea at all.
4. Why do you keep letting her hurt you? Uhm, Because i got used to all those hurt and so being with her it's just what i want.
5. Do you want to see her happy? Yes of course, Who doesn't want to see their own loved ones being happy.
6. Do you think she's happy with her current girlfriend? Duh. I bet she's much more happier with her than with me.
7. Do you think you stand a chance again? Nope. Not at all.
8. Do you wants to be friend with her? Of course, But i know we couldn't anymore.
9. Can you forget her like soon? I guess nope. I can't.
10. Can you forget those memories? Uhmm. I did try to forget but i couldn't because every memories of us it's so meaningful to me that forgetting it hurts alot.
Okay. This 10 question are the most question i got from my friends. So here are all the answers. Now my heart starts hurting again. Memories flowed halfway when my playlist struck Timothy Bloom song. I remember that time i hear that song, it was when we're quarreling. So when i hear that song, tears dropped. Heart starts aching. I don't think i know myself anymore. I'm like lost in the woods now. I've lost my way because you've let go of me. You leave me there and you promised me you will find the right way and you'll come back for me. But i guess while you're finding the right way, you forgot about me. Why am i simply cramping right now? I don't even know what i'm saying right now. I'm simply just hurt. No words could describe how this hurting feeling is. Its not like i didn't treasure her at all leh. I did sia. But.. sigh.. all i gave her during those time was stress. Being with me is a thing that it's so stressed? I think i shouldn't have a boyfriend than. Later all my boyfriend also very stressed up. But after breaking with her. I somehow.. learnt alot of stuffs...
* I started giving in whenever i quarrel with my boyfriend.
* I never assume stuffs right now.
* I start trusting people easily.
* I start to spare a thought for my boyfriend.
* I try not to find stuffs to quarrel with my boyfriend.
* I try to find solutions and work it out with my boyfriend.
* I never hide anything from my boyfriend.
But the fact about my mood-swing still couldn't change. I still give mood-swing to my boyfriend. But it seems that nothing could escape the eyes of him. & i'm really glad to have him because he himself know that i'm still deeply in love with her and we decided to work it out together. I don't know. Honestly, i never said " i love you " to my boyfriend at all. Because i'm no longer going to say " i love you " that easily anymore. Because i know it's a three letter word, but that three letter word has a strong meaning behind it. You should only say it when you think that person it's really worthy. Though i keep saying " love you " to my friend. HAHA. But still.... I tried not to say as much as i used too.
Today it's the 26 day we broke. Wow. Time really really flies. It's going to be a month soon. & i'm freaking still stucked! Ahhhh. I don't know why i just can't get out. I'm still lost sia. I don't know. Although i promise all my friends that i'll move on. I'll forget you. I hate you. I wouldn't talk to you. But i freaking still do love you. I can't move on. I can't forget you. I don't hate you at all. I couldn't stop myself from loving you. So tell me what to do now? You tell me. You're so happy every single day. Me leh? I'm not happy at all ley. I looks happy. But i'm not... I'm really not.. :(((
Sigh. I think i really should stop blogging. It's really really really very long right now. I wonder who will like read every word of this blog post man. It's so long. & it's so boring. Because i think i had wrote this stuffs before. I'm just repeating it over and over again. I've no idea why i still want to repeat. I could repeat a thousand million time but i never get tired of saying it over again. But i bet my readers will read until very sian. Right?! :( Ohwell, sorry. Meanwhile, you guys have to deal with my emotional problem till i finally got over her.. :(
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