I want the old me.

I want to laugh like how i used to laugh. Smile like i used to smile. Im in pain now while typing this. It hurt alot. Tears dropping too. I don't know why. Something telling me that her place in your heart seems more than me. Im fucking depressed, confuse. & Everything. I really had enough of heartbreaks. I want to love you. & I want you to be the only person i love. Do you know how much i wished for that you would be mine? Today, she's making you so fucked up. Showing me attitude, Seeing you being so sad. What's my feeling? I really feel like telling her to like, Stop doing what she's doing. I can see she's making you in pain. & I dont like that. But i cant do it. She is still your girlfriend. & i is just a third party, Your lover. I want to know how you really feel. LIKE YES. HOW YOU TOTALLY FEEL. I had enough of suffering myself. Sometime, i longed & wished for you to care. I want you to hug me and say i love you. I don't knw. Cause all these images keep flow through my head. Me & You doing stuffs together, smile together, cry together. Am i thinking too much & expecting so much. I just want you to be mine. Its just so difficult? In the other hand. I don't bare to break you two up. YES. I FUCKING HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THIS. I WANT TO BREAK DOWN AND CRY ALL OUT. But could i? After crying. Will all this come back to me? I dont know. Hias. i have enough. Goodbye. Im sorry for making you cry, making you worried for me. Last but not least. I love you.